And Geezers are?

Let’s get some perspective on this.    we are a sub-sub sub species in the scheme of things. And to put us in demographic context, there are more and more of us everyday despite continual attrition. This wasn’t always true, of course, but given the capacity of humans to linger longer, at least in the “developed world”…(and there’s an entire book in that somewhere)…our numbers increase every day. 

SO what are and who are we?

There isn’t complete consensus on this. Definitions of “geezer” found on the internet are terse but fuzzy. I appreciate this one in particular. (Sorry I failed to note its exact origin.)

It brings in not only history but a faint whiff of the arts. It also offers up the notion that there is little except time-alive-in-human-society-on-the-planet that separates childhood and old age. The two are curiously, perhaps necessarily, interwoven. Moreover, it is safe to say that we geezers often act like children, but then, according to many middle aged folks who seem so often to be both stodgy and censorious, everyone but them is childish or vaguely out of control and rebellious.

“gee·zer  

n. Slang

An old person, especially an eccentric old man.

[Probably alteration of dialectal guiser, masquerader, from Middle English gysar, from gysen, to dress, from gyse, guise, fashion; see guise.]

Word History: A relationship with a word we know well is disguised in the word geezer. A clue to this relationship is found in British dialect. The English Dialect Dictionary defines geezer as "a queer character, a strangely-acting person," and refers the reader to guiser, "a mummer, masquerader." The citations for guiser refer to practices such as the following: "People, usually children ... go about on Christmas Eve, singing, wearing masks, or otherwise disguised," the last word of this passage being the one to which geezer is related.””

With that semi-formal bit of categorizing out of the way let me lay out my own criteria. First off we must address the issue of GENDER. When most of us picture a “geezer” in our mind’s eyes, I’ll bet that 90% of the time we see a man. In this blog, “geezer” will define a certain subset of males. Thus, having testicles, well one at least, hanging in a scrotum and accompanied by a penis are mandatory to belong to this group. This doesn’t mean that I necessarily want to exclude women from this particular club, but given the rest of the defining traits, I don’t imagine that most women would want to be considered geezers. It is a fraternity, not a sorority, though I am remain open to reconsidering this gender proscription.

AGE: No matter what gender or mix thereof however, a principal requirement of geezerhood is to be of a certain age. While I don’t think there is a clearcut age minimum for admittance, I don’t really consider anyone under 60 as actually eligible. You’ll just have to wait until your time arrives.

Geezerhood does overtake one much as a shadow will as the sun moves. It’s not a bad thing really. Fighting it is futile. Like the Borg it will absorb you. Better to embrace the condition as it evolves that have it surprise and startle you like an unwelcome old lover at a family reunion. Take up your geezer status with relish, embrace it with demented glee and a rolling of the eyes. It is the surf of life compadre so sit on the beach of your life and let it roll you around on the sand. 

APPEARANCE: a first note with more to follow.

These days, there is an entire cadre of geezers who don’t look their age, or try damn hard not to. These guys are often self-congratulating types and even more often they are in the appearance or posturing business, like actors and politicians or businessmen with yen to spend and a yen to look like they’re 40-something. Dick Clark is/was the poster child for this sub-group of geezers. He was so obviously a geezer but he looked like he had been popping botox in a back booth in a lounge at the Ritz. It seems wise to me to embrace both your outer as well as your inner geezer. Some Hollywood geezers have done just that, Robert Redford and Clint Eastwood for instance. Someday maybe Sly Stallone will realize that he too has a flabby badder and rumpled derma just like the rest of us.